Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Man pleads no contest to cattle relations.

Scheisse!

Remember that South Park bit about how fucked up German people are?

It's true!

A reasoned approach to terrorism

Maybe what we need is just some good old-fashioned common sense.

Slightly inappropriate for network news

CBS News guy John Roberts termed the Alito nomination "sloppy seconds" in a White House briefing.

You should have heard the follow-up question: "How did it feel when conservatives did a big Cleveland Steamer right on Harriet Miers' chest, and then gave her a Dirty Sanchez?"

The nanny state

Ruining everybody's fun once again.

Valerie Plame is a hot piece of ass

I wonder if she ever "took one for the team" back in her days as a spy.

Presidential service

I never thought I'd say this, but Monica Lewinsky is looking pretty good by comparison.

The real question about Miers

Everyone's asking very weighty questions about Harriet Miers. What's her judicial philosophy? What does she think of Roe v. Wade? Where does she stand on affirmative action? Why is she such an embarassingly bad writer?

What I want to know, though, is:

Does she drink from the furry cup? Does she eat from the bushy bowl?

At least the money is going to good use

Evacuees binge on Cape: Spend fed cash on booze, strippers.

Blame the victim

A man rapes a camel.

What's the Islamic answer to this love that dare not speak its name? Kill the camel.

Not that Christianity or Judaism are any better:

And if a man lie with a beast, he shall surely be put to death: and ye shall slay the beast. (Leviticus 20:15)

A little song I wrote for you

The Dildo Connection

Why are there so many songs about dildos
and what they feel like inside?
Dildos can bruise ya, and cause bad contusions,
and dildos contain polyamide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the dildo connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

A little song I wrote

Lines, lines, everywhere there's lines
Chop 'em with a razor
Or Mastercard is fine
You snort this, I'll snort that
Can't you see the lines?

Fascist pigs

I like PoliPundit (especially Lorie Byrd), but it pisses me off when DJ Drummond goes all right-wing drug warrior.

Ouch!

Man dies after being sodomized by horse.

Jacko Exclusive!

Exclusive, that is, other than Huffington's Toast:

McAuley Culkin cites reason for drug addiction.

Mmmmm.... lesbian porn

... from the San Francisco 49ers!

An idea whose time has come

Knife control in England.

More from Huffington's Toast

You gotta love the Hunter S. Thompon / Facundo Rivera storyline.

Laughing out loud

...at this Tom Cruise post at Huffington's Toast.

Tonight, on Britain's Funniest Home Videos

Oh, how I hope the camera was rolling.

HT: Drudge.